Birthday Update

I survived! And Jon didn't get sick until Sunday! Actually he is still in the getting worse phase and thinking that he is going to escape the worst of it. Hahahahaha. We'll see how he feels tomorrow. He looked pretty green at Jude's physical this morning and all he had to do was sit there really.

Anywho, the party went quite well. Because of this illness that has been going through Jude's class, only 4 of the 7 yeses actually made it, but it was really fun and very calm.

Simon did not follow party protocol and sleep through the main events, but he made up for it by being incredibly cute. He very quickly understood that the aim of a treasure hunt is to run after all the kids shouting 'Yay!' at the top of your voice whenever one person figures out the clue. He never found the treasure, but the thought the treasure hunt was way cool.

Jude had a very good time. No major meltdowns and he was passably polite (just) when receiving his presents and saying goodbye. Willa managed to get through it without feeling too disappointed that it was all about someone else. All in all a good day and a good haul.

Illness and Aloneness

Ugh. I have been sick. So I'll do a brief synopsis of the past week to catch you all up.

Friday night, the kids lasted in the tent for about 5 mins and then all came in to pee and never quite made it back into their sleeping bags so were tucked up in their own beds by 8pm.

Then on Sat we went to a seder a a friend's house. A marvelous time was had by all and we left very very late and spent Sunday in a post party stupor. Then Monday Willa came down with Jude's thing from last week and was home Tuesday and Weds. Tuesday I got it and was in bed for most of Thurs and Fri except when I got up to make cupcakes and cake for Jude's school snack and party. From what I saw of it, Jude seemed to have a pretty good birthday. Certainly he seemed pretty happy. Now we just have to get through his party. Jon is just starting to get sick and I am just hitting recovery, so hopefully between us we will manage to survive for the hour and a half.

So yesterday as I was sitting in the armchair in my 101F fever stupor, I started thinking about how lucky I was that Jon is unemployed right now. If he weren't, I never would have been able to get anything done. We would have had to cancel the party. And I was thinking about my love hate relationship with connecting to people on our big event days, like birthdays. I love hearing from people, but it also reinforces how alone I feel. Throw in being sick on top of that and having no one to call on for help outside our immediate family and I feel really really alone.

Two stories from our recent past keep flashing through my head.

One was in Nov when we were in the UK just before we moved over here. We met some friends we hadn't seen in years at a pub garden so we could meet each other's kids and just chat and catch up. Jon's sister dropped us off and said she would come back to get us at around 2pm. So we had lunch and let the kids play. It was really nice. But then Hazel pooped in her pants. Fine, I had spare clothes for her, so we changed her and carried on. Then she peed in her new clothes and I was out of spares. So I put her in one of Simon's diapers which barely fit and let her run around in just that, but it was Nov in the UK and a bit cold for just a t-shirt and a diaper, but I didn't really know what else to do. Our ride wasn't due for at least 40 mins.

After watching me send Hazel back to play in the cold and sit down and watch her worriedly, our friend gently suggested to me that maybe now might be a good time to call Jon's sister and have her pick us up early. I remember just looking at her in shock. Of course! For once I wasn't actually stuck in a horrible situation. There was help within calling distance! So we called her and in 10 mins we were bundled up in a warm car heading toward clean clothes.

I have often wondered what these friends made of us in that pub garden. I suppose to normal people it would seem fantastic that it wouldn't occur to us to call for help, but it is so rare that we have anyone to call when we get into a tight space. More normal for us is what happened when I was due with Simon.

I used to lie awake at night and panic about what would happen if I went into premature labor and had to go to the hospital to deliver him. You might think that I had a homebirth because I am a granola crunchie natural child birth proponent, but you would be wrong. Now I did have precipitate labors so drugs were never an option for me, regardless of what I might have preferred. As for the home thing, there was no one to watch the other kids. We could never figure out how to make the hospital birth thing work in France. Jon would just drop me off at the door and say good luck? Then pick me up a few days later? I know from previous experience that my ability to use foreign vocabulary, be it French or just British terms I normally use without thinking, disappears during labor. So just hope that the people in the maternite spoke enough English to understand me, without anyone there who knew me and my history to help me? The thought was terrifying.

But a homebirth only answered some of my fears. What if I needed to be transferred? Precipitate labors as well as women giving birth many times are at a higher risk, although still quite low, of hemmorhage. My midwife was quite worried for me with all the stress I had anyway. So what if I needed to be transferred in the middle of the night? What would we have done with the other kids? Leave them home alone for the 40 mins that Jon was gone and hope for the best? What if there was something wrong with the baby? I would be stuck in the maternite by myself, without Jon or any other support, having to make potentially major medical decisions on my own?

Like I said, it kept me awake at night. And, even if we weren't already done having kids, just the memory of that fear would be enough to keep me from ever getting pregnant again. But there was no one we could call. No one who could come and help us. That is my normal. We were all very relieved when it was all over and had gone okay.

But of course things like that crop up all the time. You don't have to be pregnant to lie awake at night worrying about the consequences of being completely alone.

On May 9 we have our appointment for Simon and Jude at the urologist. Jude just to update on his bladder reflux and Simon to check out a potentially undescended testicle. Neither of these things are really monumental, but my mind can't help but worry. What if Simon does have an undescended testicle? What if he needs surgery to correct it? Not major surgery my any means, but I wouldn't want to be sitting at home with the other kids while he went through it at the hospital with Jon. And I wouldn't want to be at the hospital sitting in a waiting room by myself and not have Jon there to hold hands with because he was at home with the other kids. But what else could we do? Unlike that day in the pub garden, this is our regular life. We are on our own.

I guess I should just go back to being sick and getting ready for Jude's party. I need to stop the stress spiral. I have a treasure hunt to plan.

After School Today

Yes, this is all in our backyard and bit down the creek into our neighbor's yard. It is really too bad that this house floods eh?

And no pictures of Willa because she was stuck inside doing homework for her French class tomorrow. Enjoy.

It's a sucker fish, although one of the neighbor kids did catch a 6 inch rainbow trout as well. We threw them all back. There were a lot more than what you see.







The back view of the tent.



Well they are all in there. In the '2 Man' bedroom. We'll see if any sleeping goes on. Otherwise it is real beds by 8pm.

The Tent

Yes, we finally set up our home away from home. And yes, it is as big as it looks. No, actually, it is probably bigger.

Very very exciting I must say. Now as long as we can find campsites big enough we are very much looking forward to setting up camp and then staying put for a good week or more. The only real downside is that it is too heavy to take on a plane so we can't take it with us to CA and use it in some meadow on the side of a mountain. It would be a gorgeous tent for getting packed in with mules though. It really wouldn't matter if it were raining since there is so much space inside for clowning around and playing games; assuming that we haven't pitched it in a drainage culvert.

The tent as you see it from the outside is really just a giant rain fly with a main room and three outcropping sections. In each section hangs a little internal two person tent, making three little bedrooms with a giant living area in between. There is a perfect sized square tarp for the main room with clips on the corners so that it always lies perfectly straight and flat. Ahhhhhh.

There are also lots of openings and, as you can see, the front door is huge. We bought the one with all the screening so we can shut out the bugs if we want/need to.

And finally to give you a bit of perspective on the size, here is Jon standing in the middle of the main room:


And again lying in one of the two man bedrooms. Note: In Europe when they say two man tent they mean two full grown people plus all their gear can fit. Unlike in the US where two man tent means if you like sharing a single sleeping bag with someone then two people can fit in it and screw your stuff. I think most American campers would call a European two man tent closer to an American 3/4 person tent.


And finally collapsed after the surprisingly not so hard set up in the hot sun, Jon gives you some perspective on the size of the main room.

Now we just need to get a regulator sorted for our camp stove and we are off!! Of course the tent is 2 ft wider than the tent platforms at Virginia State parks, but where there is a will there is a way!

I wonder what the kids will think when they get home from school this afternoon. Do you think we will end up sleeping in the back yard tonight?

Dumpster Diving Diva

Okay maybe not so much diving into a dumpster. Maybe Curbside Collecting Coolmom.

Yesterday, when driving to pick up Hazel. Yes, driving because Jude has had some up and down fever thing for going on 5 days now and Jon was in PA at a job interview so school pick up was a PITA and in a car. Yucko.

Anyway, while driving to go get Hazel we passed all the recycling that people had put out for collection yesterday. I must say before I get to the meat of the matter, that it often surprises me to live in such a high average income (or at least high average spending) neighborhood. There are constant little reminders that never fail to surprise me when I notice them. Like going to a neighbors house to drop something off and being greeted by the cleaner. Not that all of our neighbors (and us!) didn't have cleaners in France, but they were gov't subsidized. Here we just live in mess. Still it did make me feel better about not being able to clean my house, when clearly they find their own overwhelming too.

Then there was the day I popped over to talk to the mom of one of Jude's friends and her laundry was in bags on the doorstep waiting for pick up. Now I am all for sending laundry out when lives are busy, but this is a house with a 9 yo and a 6 yo (and that's it) and a stay at home mom. To be fair we are often inundated with clean unput-away laundry, but that wouldn't change if I sent it out. It would still have to be put away when clean, and somehow even with 4 kids I don't seem to have a problem keeping up with the dirty stuff.

And now, it is spring. The trees are blooming, allergies are flairing and the grass is ready for it's first spring cut. Fortunately a lawn mower came with our house because we couldn't borrow one from any of the neighbors. They all have lawn services. Actually the same lawn service. Their truck, much to Simon's delight, has been working on a different house around us everyday for about a week. We are the lone house to escape treatment. We better get out there and mow the lawn or it will be more obvious that we are the lowbrows bringing the neighborhood down.

As you can tell, I am somewhat ambivalent about all this. I would LOVE a cleaning service and, in a house that we are not going to stay in over the summer, we would LOVE a yard service as well. So the green goo sets in a bit when I see all this happening in houses that cost a minimum of $800k for about the same space as ours in NC. But the schools are amazing and the neighbors are very friendly and yesterday we scored big time from the inhabitants of the giant house up the street from us.

Apparently their children have grown up a bit and are done with the playthings of their early youth. Thus a small basketball hoop and two, yes two, Little Tykes playhouses were on the curb yesterday just waiting for us to take them away. Actually we left the basketball hoop and took the house we liked the best. Jude pushed Simon in the stroller and Willa pulled the wagon and Hazel oohed and aahed over the lovely blue roof and green shutters. I have a gorgeous bruise on my shoulder where the darn thing fell on me (twice!) as I maneuvered it up onto the patio. Those houses are heavy!

It was a bit dirty so we sprayed it with the hose and Simon got a 'bit' wet. He thought that was brilliant. Then he and Hazel spent a good hour going in and out, just with the joy of having a door that Simon could open and close himself. Hazel insisted that I come in, "It's very big Mommy!" When I stood next to it and pointed out that I was, in fact, taller than the roof, her jaw nearly hit the patio and then her face fell completely. I guess I haven't been as bad as I thought of talking to her at her level since apparently until yesterday afternoon she had never fully realized how much bigger I am than she.

So I told her I was a giant and everyone ran screaming into the house except Willa, who was doing her homework while watching and yelling, "Shut the shutters! Shut the shutters, or she'll get you!" and I tried to be appropriately giantlike and scary.

Later Willa asked me why the house up the street had had two houses. I said I didn't know and suggested that maybe they had twin girls and wanted to be fair. She gave me a blank look and said, "Why girls?" Fair point. Then she said,"And why get two of the same? Wouldn't it be more fun to have two different ones?" I didn't know how to answer that one without getting into sibling rivalry and trying to appear to be fair and whether or not it's okay to force kids to share, so I shrugged.

I am sure she was thinking the same as I was really. If they had gotten two different ones, we could have taken both and had a village! How Cool! As it is we have a little house that we never ever thought we would find. They are way more than we pay for kid's things when new, and they go like hotcakes at garage and consignment sales. I refuse get up early enough to end up as the lucky purchaser at those events. And now I don't have too!

I also saw a really nice teapot the other day on top on a bag that I almost took. While I might sometimes feel weird about living here and being in a different economic state to my neighbors, I think I am very much looking forward to what the rest of spring cleaning will bring us.

Look! I figured out pictures!! So now you will all get a mini photo history of Hazel's trip to the allergist yesterday. Ooh exciting! I can see you all shaking in your boots.







First of all we hung out in the exam room. Everyone was pretty happy. There was talk of prickles, but no one seemed overly concerned. And of course there is always the pride that you, yes you, are the reason for the visit. How exciting to the be the center of attention! Who cares what the reason might be!

Then the lovely nurse came in and listened to breath sounds and checked pulse rate and generally got a good baseline. Hazel thought all the this was marvelous. Took it very seriously until the nurse starting writing numbers on her back. Then she couldn't stop giggling. It tickled!


Then the prickles started. They were not fun at all.






And then even after the nurse had wiped off the allergens so that Daddy didn't have to hold Hazel's hair any more, it wasn't any better because her back itched and was sore.






I don't know how well you can see the weals, but the big one on the right is Hazelnut and another to the left is Walnut. She was eating Hazelnuts in October, but now they are out, along with Pecans, Walnuts and Brazilnuts. Almonds and Cashews were okay both with the blood and skin prick, but Hazel needs to avoid them because of possible cross-contamination at the processing factory. However we can have them in the house. So we can still eat Dundee cake and marzipan as long as Hazel doesn't eat it.



You might notice some big weals on the bottom row as well. Lobster was positive and with her history, all crustaceans are now out. I think we will probably just avoid all shellfish. Why risk it when corn chowder is as good as clam?


After 15 mins the nurse measured the weals and noted them down and they went in the file. Then some benedryl gel and a purple and green pinwheel and all was well.










Finally you all get a photo of Hazel with her new allergist. He thinks that she has reached an age where we should pretty much stop seeing new allergies (fingers crossed) and we have crossed the point where we need to worry about wheat, corn, soy or dairy popping up. We hope so, but as I was saying, she was eating hazelnuts in Oct. We now have two new epipens since the Dr was worried about Americans getting confused by the French anipens. Whatever. Now we have 4 in total so they will be easier to spread around. And Jon needs to start remembering to carry the manpurse he bought in France so he has a means of carrying something that big with him all the time.



Now when we come visit you all get to share our joy as you clear out your house of all nuts and crustaceans.

Parent Teacher Conferences

Look at that...... A post that doesn't involve throw up. Of course we aren't really disease free. We have been steadily passing pink eye throughout the family. I'm on my third go around. Hazel is on number two. We actually cleared out the Target pharmacy's entire supply of antibiotic eyedrops. But at least there isn't any smelly clean up!

Yesterday the big two got out early for parent teacher conferences. It was pretty exciting. Now that the weather is warmer we have been biking to and from school. So yesterday we had everybody except Hazel, who was still at school until 3:15 per usual, on bikes and Simon in the trailer. Our conferences were yesterday from 1:30-2:30 so we just hung out on the playground until it was time to go in. Willa read the book she had just won in the Book Week Raffle. Jude and Jon played rugby on the grass and Simon ran around giggling hysterically that he was free, FREE to run around giggling hysterically.

The conferences were good too. Willa's was first. We dropped the big two off in the school library where they were offering 'childcare'. The ' ' because you had to be old enough to entertain yourself in the library to get signed in. So, yes, Simon was banned. That made the whole paying attention to the teacher during the conference thing interesting to say the least.

We traded off. I paid attention to the teacher in Willa's classrom and chased Simon in and out of Jude's. Jon did the reverse. You might be wondering why we were both there, and in fact we sometimes wonder that ourselves. But we tell ourselves that at least during the recap of the meeting by the parent who was theoretically paying attention, the Simon watching parent has the odd memory of the teacher's comment to boost the telling as compared to me just doing it all myself and then telling Jon later. Plus everyone else seems to be feel that both parents should be there, so we would be failing in the perfect parenting department if we succumbed to the fact that we have no support network and no one but ourselves to watch any of kids ever, even for a parent teacher conference. We can't do less than people who have in-laws and parents and friends living within 200 miles! So we only half pay attention instead. Good thing our kids are above average eh? And everyone thinks Simon is very cute.

Anyway, back to Willa. She is doing well academically, especially on her own and in small groups. However, it is apparently hard for her to focus when in big groups. She wants to interact with her classmates too much. She finally fell apart in class last Friday and told her teacher that she didn't feel like she belonged in the class. Miss R. was very surprised because Willa seemed to just slot right in. She was very glad to be told and is going to work on helping Willa with the social stuff a little more now. We knew as soon as she met Eva in France that the next move was going to be very hard. You just don't meet soulmates like that everywhere you go, but Willa pretty much expects it now and watching the kids in her class that have known each other for years relating to each other is very hard for her.

Miss R. also really works in 2nd grade with getting the kids to learn to take responsibility for their own learning and Willa is struggling a bit with the extra freedom esp compared to the real strictness of her classroom in France which she craves. Lots of stuff to work on, but at least we all know more about what goes on in both places, home and school. And Miss R. knows that we may not be staying after June. On that note, it turns out that if we stay in Princeton Regional Schools but end up out of the Littlebrook catchment area, we can petition to have the kids stay at Littlebrook for continuity. Miss R. thinks that with Willa's history of frequent school changes the district would be very likely to let her stay at Littlebrook. I hadn't realized what a weight trying to stay in Littlebrook was until the pressure was lifted. So if we stay, the kids won't change schools. Ahhhhhhh.

Now for Jude. Let's see. His reading teacher (he gets pulled out a couple of times a week for reading with the literacy specialist) is reading the Nate the Great series with him. He really likes it and his work with Mrs. L. is having a big effect on his ability to read and see the joy in reading rather than just doing it because Willa does. He is picking up books now and actually finishing them with understanding and is eager to try longer books and perservere with them now that he knows about characters and plots and such like. Mrs. L. wants to work to get his handwriting to better match his reading and writing (thought process part of writing) ability. That all sounds good to us. His kindergarten teacher, Mrs O'D. is mostly working with him on social stuff since everything else is pretty much in hand. She really understands him and handles his tantrums really well. He has only had one or two in the new year so far so that is very good.

Digression: Can you tell that I wasn't paying as much attention in Jude's conference? I could tell you in much better detail what Simon was doing. He really liked the kitchen corner, and the lunch wagon in the hall.

I forgot to tell Mrs O'D. that we might be moving. Ah well. I guess she'll find out from Miss R. I hope that isn't a terrible parental faux pas. Too late now...

The best part of Jude's conference was his books. Every few weeks Mrs. O'D. has the kids write little books. They draw pictures above the one or two lines they write and they are about 4-5 pages long. Jude's 1st and 5th were pretty normal (finally something kindergartenlike jokes Mrs O'D.), but 2-4 were, "The Story of the Wii #1," " The Story of the Wii #2" and "The Story of the Wii #3" They were hilarious. As Jon said, "In our house Dav Pilkey has a lot to answer for." Certainly we are all now sure, as if we didn't already know, where Jude's loyalties lie.

So all in all it was a nice ego boost to know that the kids are doing pretty well, both easily above grade level, and that where they need extra help, people are working with them. Now if only we knew we would be as well placed in Sept.

And finally so we don't leave anyone completely out: Hazel is riding her bike to and from school everyday as well. She very proudly parks it at school with the grown up bikes where it looks incredibly dinky. She has started talking more comprehensibly at school as well. Her teacher is very happy with her progress. And I promise I will figure out pictures soon!

Allergy Update

We got the results back from Hazel's most recent blood work this week. As far as pecan and hazelnut we were right. A new allergy has appeared and also to walnut which she has never eaten so we didn't know about that. The Cap Rast for those tree nuts, which have always been negative in the past for blood, skin prick and oral challenge, ranged from 1.5 -2.9.

Peanut has changed too. At 15 months the skin prick was neg, failed oral challenge and the RAST was 1.6

At 2.5 the skin prick was very positive and the RAST was 16.4 and most recently the RAST was 44. We are doing skin pricks for a bunch of stuff next week. I don't know if 44 is too high to risk a skin prick or not.

All the other stuff they tested, almonds and other tree nuts, shrimp, crab, soy, and few other things were still negative, although frankly, I am not sure how long that will be for. I am sure we will skin prick most of those as well and see, since shrimp has come up positive in a skin prick before, but never on the RAST.

Cats are worse again and allergic asthma, possibly to seasonal stuff or dust mites has definitely started as well.

Willa still reacts pretty strongly to dogs and cats and dust, but Singulair and occasional albuterol seems to be the magic wand for her. The boys seem to have avoided everything so far.

Here We Go Again

One of my goals in starting this blog was to force myself to write about the good things and not focus so much on the yuckier parts of my life, as well as sharing all of our adventures with everyone. To that end I promised myself that I would post at least one thing every week.

So this week as I was recovering from the gastric fun on Monday I kept saying that as soon as I feel better I will post about how awesome it was that Jon managed to get home Monday night instead of Tuesday morning (it was awesome) or how nice it was that he was home when the gastric bug hit me, so I could lie in bed on Weds morning and groan while he ran the kids to school.

Somehow though, between lying on the bed and groaning and trying to deal with Willa and her run ins with a girl in her class (how can this be starting already?!) I never really had the time to type. So I figured that Fri morning (right now in fact) I would make time to type while all the big kids were at school and Simon was napping. I figured I could talk about party plans and how messy the house is (truly scary, verging on unsanitary). Instead I made the very big mistake of eating dinner last night.

It was pretty inocuous, baked chicken, rice and broccoli, but somehow mixed with my insides, it produced enough gas to run our furnace for an hour or two. Gas, which did not want to stay inside me. So I suffered through until about 10:30pm by which time I was too tired to care and went to bed. And let me say that Jon should be very very grateful he was not sharing a room with me last night.

Oh wait, did you catch that? Yes, Jon was not home last night. Is not going to be home until Sat. afternoon in fact. So what does that mean for me? Well, frankly, the usual. At 2am Hazel called out to me in a panic. She had thrown up in her bed. Fortunately it was more like catsick than regular kids' vomit so relatively easy to clean up. I threw her in the shower, her sheets in the washing machine and set up a sleeping bag, but which time she was vehemently opposed to where the sleeping bag was located (on her bed) and screamed bloody murder, which Simon thought was the 'call to milk'.

So I fed him and put her on the floor and went back to bed, but Hazel was having trouble settling down after all that excitment and kept getting up to go pee or get me or just call to me. Everytime I put her back to bed, Simon would pop up. You could see it on his face, "Cool! The milk wagon is here again!" By the fourth time of seeing me with no milk forthcoming he decided to scream bloody murder and didn't stop until I fed him again. By the time everyone was back in bed and falling asleep it was 4:15am.

I got up with the alarm at 6:30am and got in a shower. I figured I would drive everyone to school (it was raining again) and then stop at the supermarket on the way home to get milk and pull ups. Willa and Jude got up feeling okay and had breakfast. Simon woke up in a fantastic mood. He is clearly feeling better.

Then Hazel woke up, all smiles, and came into the dining room, looked at Willa and Jude eating and threw up all over her feet. It was down hill from there. She kept trying to sneak food, while looking sicker and sicker. By the time we left for school 15 minutes later, I had to carry her to the car. We did get milk and pull ups and pedialyte freezer pops on the way home and Hazel looks terrible.

She is lying on the couch in a sleeping bag staring at Dora the Explorer. Watching would be too active a verb for what she is doing. No fever, but she is sick sick sick. I am wondering if I should take her in.

Ah well, we have about 24 hours before Jon gets back. I'm sure it will get worse before it gets better. Gotta run, Simon just caught his finger in the screen door.

back again: In the interest of remembering the positive, I wanted to point out that when Willa and Jude watched Hazel puke all over herself and then not be allowed to eat while clearly getting sicker, they got out their markers and sat down and made her cards before they went to school. They made envelopes for them and everything. The cards are sitting on the dining table waiting for Hazel to feel a little bit better so we can read them together.